Updated: Feb 5, 2020
It's been almost two months since Oktay and I made the move up to Newcastle. Since visiting and seeing friends and family, we have been getting asked a lot..
"Why did you guys move?".
To be honest it was a number of things and wanting a change of scenery was definitely one of them. Although between many conversations previously it came down to 3 important things for us.
Growing and developing in our life and as a couple is so important for us. Growth is one of our biggest values and it was important for us to understand that it is something that we both need in our life, relationship and career to be able to be our best selves.
After a year of wedding planning and a lot of our energy going into all of that, we took a big step back to see the bigger picture. I remember constantly hearing leading up to our wedding:
"Oh, surely nothing will change for you guys- you've been together forever and you already live together" or "things will basically stay the same but you'll be married".
While i know it was never meant in a certain way- this was possibly the worst thing i could be told. I couldn't think of anything worse than being told you will stay the same. Oktay and I share that value in growing together and individually and i am so grateful for that. I never realised how much i value growth until we got married. Not feeling suffocated in the need to "become one", but rather be in our own light and then coming together to compliment each other rather than complete each other. Our move encourages us to be in an environment that allows us to be semi selfish with our time and spend more time on ourselves and our goals that we speak about. Being able to both grow our businesses was a big part and also be able to grow as people being away from our comfort zones. It was time for us to turn our words into action.
Both physically and mentally being able to de-clutter our life. From moving out of our old apartment and throwing away SO much unused, unappreciated and not even working THINGS. Farrout, that alone was so good. It is incredible the amount of things we hold on to and resist throwing away because we feel that it will mean it is also throwing away a part of ourselves. I don't know what the real science is behind getting rid of things bu it was a real eye opener to seeing how much STUFF we had cluttering our home and taking up energy in our space.
Of course we kept a lot of things but it was more so the idea that if we hadn't used it/worn it/thought about it in a year than it was being chucked.
It also made us look at de-cluttering our day to day and de-cluttering our commitments. We are so very lucky to have so many amazing people in our lives. We absolutely love our favourite humans to bits but sometimes it also meant we would put ourselves on the back-end feeling like we had to commit to every single event.
This is also my own personal journey to learning to say no thank you (lol)- when i figure out how to make that easier i'll let you guys know (lol again).
Being able to start on fresh ground of living simply is the perfect way to explain the de-cluttering process. While we all do spring cleaning here and there, something I have learnt is that Oktay and I share a dangerous sometimes good, sometimes bad trait of, all or nothing. So no spring clean for us, rather nothing like a move to really accentuate the process! Let's burn the boats baby.
3. Living our "one day" life NOW.
In February earlier this year it was my birthday. Oktay asked what I wanted to do and i said i want to wake up early and go watch the sunrise at Bronte Beach (my favourite beach) with a coffee and no phones. Sucker for the coffee and nature combo I am.
It took us 3 hours to get there and back. I will never forget the drive either, because while we were cruising to the beach, we drove past countless number of people running for buses, people slouched in their cars in their suits and ties just looking so depleted, run down, miserable. It made me really sad to see and I said out loud "I don't ever want to be in a point where I don't feel the spark of life anymore". Fair enough we all have our shit days, but the thought of 5 days a weeks of it- for however many years just scared the shit out of me.
I remember writing in my journal at the beginning of last year that if i could i live my ultimate day what would it be?.
My answer was something like living by the beach, waking up feeling happy and energetic, my work would be doing something that contributed to community and growth, teaching Yoga, sharing creatively and not feeling fearful towards learning who I am and growing.
I use to feel very self conscious expressing my dreams as I felt like it seemed more appealing to say your dream was to buy a house rather than to have growth and contribution. A lot of self limiting beliefs made me feel like my dreams were unrealistic and too "hippie". So i share that in vulnerability. Vulnerable to what success looks like for me and being okay that it may not look like someone else's.
It's weird to think that majority of that has come to fruition. Since I have moved I have had so many moments where I feel like my life is to good to be true and then i have to stop myself and instead, soak all the goodness in.
When Oktay and I spoke of what our future looked like, some things were different but much of it looked the same. We wanted to live more simply, to drive less, to bring more peace and slowing down into our life, to be able to grow more financially, to have growth within our work, to spend more time on ourselves and each other, to be able to get up and walk to the beach even if just for 5 minutes, just because we can. And the cherry on top to be able to have our family grow up and have an appreciation for nature like we do, to be more community minded and to be able to tell our kids one day that we didn't shy away from our fears to take the path less travelled. We decided to take a leap and bank on ourselves to create our dreams, and that one day maybe it will encourage our kids, when their time comes, to take the leap too.
Keen for whatever this next adventure brings for us!
PS. if you were wondering what your values/needs are in your life at the moment, something that helped me get clear about it is here. Important to know your values and what you need to feel fulfilled.