Updated: Jun 5, 2019
No the title wasn’t a mistake, you read it correctly.
Happy Hump-Day people!
Lately I’ve been feeling the need to write this post, just to get it out there in to the universe- whether it reaches one of you or five of you I am grateful for you taking the time to share in this moment with me.
It feels like we are all on this path of wanting more than is being served to our table. On top of that- we want it made to order. So many single friends wanting to be in relationships, so many friends in relationships wanting to be engaged, so many married friends wanting to have families and then so many friends with families wishing they were back to their single days. I will be the first to say that I too was like this, constantly looking around and thinking- when am I finally going to finish uni, whens my next holiday, when am I moving out, when am I going to get married, when is this, what about that? All this while never asking myself “what about now?.
The power of now by Eckhart Tolle
As if the universe was telling me “Be still. What is meant for you, shall not pass you”- i came across a book called “The power of now”. It really made me think of time in such a way I had never deeply thought about before. That, time is an illusion. It makes us believe that certain milestones should happen by certain periods of time as if it is to say, if they do not that we are somehow “behind” or that time has been wasted.
Uni was a waste of time. . .
I remember when i was going through uni – and i say going through because it is honestly what i did. “Going through” the motions because i had already invested the time and more so the money to be there. I enjoyed the subjects of Psychology and Business but i knew deep down i was never going to delve into psychology as a career. For a long time i honestly thought of it as a waste of both time and money. I felt like this was just me, until i started talking to others who were told me they were experiencing the same feelings and so continued because they had already invested X amount of time or quit because they didn’t want to waste more X amount of time. I was definitely option one. I think back now and wonder – if I invested that time and effort into something I wasn’t passionate for, imagine when I do find the things that light me up and I am passionate about.
Replacing Time with Gratitude
Through reading the power of now, it changed my whole thinking from the time and money “wasted” to complete gratitude. The fact that i was able to receive an education, to be able to study full time without any financial pressure from family to pay rent or support someone else other than myself or even simply to be able to receive knowledge as an option as many women did not and still do not have this luxury. Once we take away the meaning of time in our lives, it leaves us with the present moment. One of my favourite phrases from the book is “when you are thinking of the past or the future- you are missing out on the now”.
Time becomes a major factor and often a strain within relationships. Forever following these “time rules” like how long one must be dating for before meeting family or how much time is adequate to be dating before engagements and weddings and family or even just how much time to wait before messaging after a date. This illusion of time pulls us from the present moment and puts our focus into self doubt, stress, fear or worry. Who the hell even made up these time frames and timelines anyway?
FROM MISS FUTURE-PAST TO MRS NOW
I am a few months away from saying to yes to marrying my partner in both love and life and I am constantly reminding myself to be still and be here now. Marriage is such a life long commitment it is unrealistic to not have thoughts about the future. My reminder to myself is to watch that your thoughts are exactly that- your thoughts. It’s so easy to get carried away with comparing your journey to others but your journey is your own and it is for you to live the best you can, for you.
By being present to this moment of your “now” you really are able to clearly see all the small things without the distractions of the big things. Now I’m not saying I have become mother Theresa but I have definitely become more calm, less stressed and gained clarity for my relationship and what comes in and out of my life. If it can be changed then – why worry, if it can’t be changed- then why worry?
If there is anything I took away from this book it is to remind myself that life is precious right now. After all- that is what life is- all moments of “now” accumulated over our time here on earth. How am I spending now? Am I doing something that is of value now? Am I making choices to being my best self now? Am I being my true self now?
Someone could live 20 years young and find their purpose, love and fullfillment or someone could live til their 85 years and never find any of these things. Our time here is unknown but how we fill our days is really up to us. When you deeply think about these words- it is truly beautiful, mind blowing and grounding:
“Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be”.
If there is something that you’ve been wishing for or something that you have been reminicing about- do so but do not dwell “be still. What is meant for you shall not pass you”.
Sending you all major gratitude for the now,
If you connected with these words, leave some love in a comment or an email and share with me